How cool is my brother?

http://www.rowan.edu/today/news/index/PR/2183

Subway Etiquette PSA

Attention all subway users....this is a public service announcement. I would like to list some subway etiquette for those of you who.....well, quite frankly need it! This is directed particularly those that are on the lines that I use and therefore directly affect my day. Now, I understand that if you have never used the subway before it can be quite overwhelming, and therefore this is a purely informational announcement. However, if things do not approve, and I have to address this again I will not be as pleasant!!

First, you know when you see those silver bars both vertically and horizontally placed strategically throughout the subway cars...yea, those are BARS FOR YOU TO HOLD ON TO! They aren't just for show, you can actually touch them and hold on. The benefit to doing so is that then when the subway starts and stops you don't fling your body into me. Which really helps everyone. Because then I don't have to check my ankle for your shoe marks and you don't have to see my death stare. If you cannot handle this, then you should sit.

Secondly, I don't care how crowded the subway cars are...don't touch me. In a city as bustling and crowded as NYC I still need my box of personal space. For example, when I am standing and appropriately holding onto one of the rails, do not touch my hand. And especially don't repeatedly do it or it will result in previously said death stare. And to go along with this, when you are standing so close to me that your hair is touching my hand (ew) it will be stuck in my ring! What do you expect.

Lastly, when everyone is standing to the side of the subway car waiting to board DO NOT push and jump in front of me. Are we not all trying to go to the same place? Of course we are, and odds are we are going to be standing right next to each other and you will have already ruined my trip. Death stare time....for your entire trip with me.

Proof

Child chain gang.......told you so!

Jobless in Manhattan

Okay, sorry for the lack of posts lately. For my loyal readers I know you have been missing me (mostly because you voice your complaints directly to me!). So, if you haven't heard I am still not working! I was offered the job in April, but am a prisoner t0 HR and paperwork. A realistic worst case scenario is that I won't start working until late September! Ridiculous! So, this has made me think of other jobs that I could get in the meantime because as much as I joke about my goal was to be a lady of leisure...I am kinda bored! So, here is what I came up with so far....

1. Starbucks Barista -
Reasons it would be cool : I love Starbucks, and I would especially love free coffee while I was working! Also, I would love to be able to write my Barista recommendations on the board each day.
Reasons it won't work : For the amount of money that I would be paid I don't know if I could deal with all the crazy people with drawling from caffeine with their 5 minute long order. (in rich white person voice...ah, yea...I'll have a grande skim 3 shot 140 degree sugar-free iced caramel macchiato...and a scone) I mean seriously, if you need to take a breath in the middle of your order...you are too freakin' controlling! So, I think somewhere in between rolling my eyes, sighing, and saying "huh" I would be fired. I'll be honest, when I order I do say...grande non-fat no-whip iced mocha, which may at first seem controlling (me...controlling...never!) but it is really just to save them the time of asking....do you want whip cream? It is just me trying to help my barista!

2. Dog walker -
Reasons it would be cool : Dogs are cute and you actually get paid $15 for a 20 minute walk per dog and you only have to go out of the house 3 times a day! Not too shabby. Plus you would have the added bonus of being about to check out other people's apartments without them being home. I wouldn't miss too much tv and yet feel like I was doing something.
Reasons it won't work : I have a hard enough time picking up my own dog's poo without sticking my finger in it. Therefore, I don't think that I would be able to walk multiple dogs at the same time. 'Nuff said.

3. Open a cupcake cafe -
Reasons it would be cool : I heart cupcake cafes, they are just so cute! My favorite is Crumb...check it out. What would be more fun then making yummy cupcakes and decorating them into little beautiful cups of sugar.
Reasons it won't work : Yea, I can't decorate cupcakes! Not helpful in this field of work. Who am I kidding.

4. TMZ reporter -
Reasons it would be cool : For those of you that are either over 40 or have a life and don't know what TMZ is, it is basically paparazzi following famous people. It was originally on the Internet only (http://www.tmz.com/) but is now a 30 minute TV show (on Fox...check it out!) and has paparazzi follow and videotape celebrities while asking them questions. I love celebrity following and asking questions, I would be perfect!
Reasons it won't work : You actually need to know where the celebrities are at, and I don't have those kind of connections...yet!

Any other ideas for me? Let me know.

Mrs. Naked Cowboy

Many of you probably know about the Naked Cowboy that plays his guitar in Times Square each day. He basically plays his guitar and people make circles around him just to get in a picture with him. Oh, and by the way, he has a number that you can call to make an appearance at your party --- 866-99-NAKED. So, if there are any birthday or graduation parties coming up, there is the number to have him come along! Well, here is something that might now know. A Mrs. Naked Cowboy exists! I know....scandalous! I found her while walking in Times Square minding my own business on the way to a Broadway show. (In the Heights...you may remember me ranting and raving about it earlier) We were walking around when I noticed a crowd standing around with their cameras pointed at something. I'll be honest, while many New Yorkers may walk right past something like this because it is very un-New Yorkerish to freak out over celebrities. But, I'm still a South Jersian and any opportunity that I have to take a picture of/see TomKat or Mary Kate Olsen I am going to check it out!! Well, it wasn't a celebrity, but definitely the second best thing......it was Mrs. Naked Cowboy!

How great is this! There are a lot of things about this picture that I love, but my absolute favorite is the wads of money stashed in her leg straps. She also sings. I will share with you, a little piece of her song...."Everyone's here......We're in Times Square...Takin' off my clothes". Oh, and the picture doesn't give you everything. Behind the guitar is a bra and black thong! Too much. You know what though, it is about time that women win once. You know what I'm talking about ladies. All the time in movies and on television there are beautiful women with ugly men. And when you go to the beach there are plenty of good looking women in tiny bathing suits, while the only men that wear speedos have a membership to AARP and are creepy tan and hairy. It is about time that women get a sumpin' sumpin' to look at!

Give my regards to Broadway....

One of the many benefits to living in NYC is easy access to Broadway musicals. Through the years I have seen such musicals as Les Miserables, Wicked, Thoroughly Modern Milly, The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Moving Out, and Rent. This past week we went to see Mamma Mia and In the Heights. Let me give you the low down on those two musicals.

Mamma Mia

A story that takes place on a Greek island involving a daughter, a mother and 3 possible dads! Classic songs by ABBA such as Dancing Queen, SOS, The Winner Takes it All, and of course Mamma Mia set the stage for this musical. On the eve of her wedding, a daughter's quest to find her father brings 3 men fom her mother's past to an island that they all visited 20 years ago.

A fun-loving musical that is greatfor a night out. If you aren't dancing in your chair to Dancing Queen by the end of the musical.....well, then you are no fun! It has been on Broadway for 9 years and is now coming out as a movie. It has been watched by over 30 million people, and definitely worthy of a night out on the town!

In the Heights

The Tony Award winner for 2008 Best Musical, In the Heights is an inspiring story about people trying to make it in a part of Queens called Washington Heights. Written by Lin-Manuel Miranda in his sophomore year of college In the Heights began as an off Broadway show in 1999 and had it's first show on Broadway this past February. The musical takes place on a street in Washington Heights based around a corner coffee bodega, limo and car service, and hair salon. A hip-hop musical that instills hope and inspiration as well as having you dancing in the chair (hmm, I dance in my chair a lot).

This musical was so awesome and I think everyone should see it, hands down! What are you waiting for, go buy your tickets!

Question

You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky.

Describe how you will escape.